Well, here we are with spring upon us.  My son is enjoying his break from school (is second grade almost over already?!?!) and, though I have mentioned it several times already, is ignoring the chores that have been set aside for this time.  With the enthusiasm of his age, he has promised to do all manner of jobs in order to have more money and freedoms… but when the time comes, chooses to exercise his reward from yesterday and play on the Xbox instead.  At some point he will have passed many levels, defeated many foes, and racked up lots of points, but will have no time to get all his chores done for the day – and not get the other privileges he wants.

He has also been asking about making changes to his chore chart.  He’s a big kid of seven now, and wants to buy himself a Nintendo DS.  Most of my family lives in another part of the state we live in.  Too far away to visit often, so when it comes time for presents, they usually send a check to buy a toy.  My son is lucky, and has lots of toys – so when he begged to have a DS (and was very disappointed that Santa had not brought one), I suggested that he save the money he gets from family for his birthday, Christmas, and other holidays.

At the beginning of last year, we marched into the bank with checks in hand.  We got him started with a “Youth Goal Savings Account,” and deposited his Christmas hoard.  He is now quite proud that he has over $100 in his account.  We are going to adjust his chore chart to tasks appropriate for him (upon negotiation and agreement by both parties, of course) and come up with a fair amount of money each task is worth.

When we first started making a chore chart, I made a template on the computer, and we have been refining it ever since.  Since he was only four when we started, we had items on there like: Get dressed in morning, Brush teeth, Put pajamas on.  There were actual chores on there, however.  Feeding the dog, sweeping, dusting, and picking up his toys, have all been part of his weekly responsibilities.  Since I print out a new sheet every week, we let him mark his own progress.  If he does a chore without being asked, he can put a star in that box; if we have to remind him, but it gets done, then he can put a check.

At the end of the week, we would count up all the checks and star and decide on a reward.  A new toy, a trip to the ice cream shop or Chuck E. Cheese, seeing a new movie or something along these lines.

I’m thinking that for the more difficult tasks, I will offer fifty cents for completing the task without being asked, twenty-five for reminders.  A quarter for simpler tasks and ten for reminders.  This way, he can still have the same type of system, but also the money that he so desperately wants.  I also appreciate the fact that we make him a part of the process by deciding together what chores he can accomplish and that he can see how much, or how little, effort he has put forth.

I started babysitting when I was 12 years old. By then, I had lots of experience with watching my siblings and family friend’s kids. After a few years of babysitting for several families in our small town, I became known as the babysitter of choice. Why, you ask? Well, both the kids and parents loved me. I’m not saying this to be shameless; I heard it a lot from the families that were recommended to me. Kids would jump around with glee when they found that I was coming over to play.  I also worked in an after-school kid's club, taught classes, and was a nanny for several years.

After becoming a mother myself, I know that having your own children is very different than being the occasional distraction. Everyone is different, so you cannot expect for every tip I give to work for you. Be honest with yourself and use what feels comfortable. It will be easier for everyone. I, for one, am profoundly thankful that I inherited my Grandma’s patience and sense of fun.

A few tips for dealing with kids (your own or other’s):

• Have a box of “tricks” (or things that appeal to the age group), that you can pull out at a moment’s notice to provide an answer to that age-old dilemma: “I’m bored.” I will find a few minutes here and there to pick over stuff in the sales and dollar stores.

• Make a chore chart. Older kids can help with the household duties (for money, toys, games, etc.), younger kids can do simple tasks such as dusting and getting dressed, brushing teeth, and such, for toys or other prizes. Have them be responsible for marking their own chart. They can see for themselves how hard they are working for what they want.

• Make chores fun. Turn on some up-beat music and dance around while dusting or picking up toys. Make a game of the less fun chores. They’ll be fun to do and be done faster. Explaining that there are always going to be things you don’t want to do, but have to do. Getting the “have tos” out of the way leaves more time for the “want tos”.

• Have a picky eater? Put them to work in the kitchen. Not just the cleaning up, but the making of the meal. Depending on their age and skill level, you can give them more or less to do, but get them involved from the beginning. Pick out a recipe, go to the store and shop for the ingredients, prepare the ingredients, and the cooking – as well as the clean up. This process will help them to feel more empowered (and, therefore, more willing to try it) as well as serve to teach them skills that will become extremely useful as they become older.

• Don’t treat kids like pets. They are people and should be treated with respect. How do you expect them to show you trust and honesty, if you won’t give them a good example to follow? Kids see and hear much more than you know – or than they understand. You need to be honest with them (as much as possible – as they are still children and a certain amount of innocence must be retained for as long as it can be).

• Let’s face it, even the most patient of people is going to have a bad day once in a while. If you blow your top, apologize. Everyone gets grumpy sometimes… remember these times for when your child throws a fit.

• Speaking of “the grumpies”… I have found that kids get grumpiest when they are hungry/tired/disappointed. Just like adults. If you notice that someone (including you) are getting a case of the grumpies, get something to eat, relax for a few minutes, remove yourselves from the temptations that are causing problems. I usually make sure that I have snacks on hand (in the purse, car, cupboard, etc.) at all times to stave off a melt down.

• One of the most important things I can impart to you is that you should listen to your children. Really listen. You will learn so much about them (and possibly yourself) and it really goes a long way towards creating a bond with that child.

• Another important point, have fun!  Be engaged with them and focus on what they are doing and saying.  You will be amazed at how they will respond.

Here are a few tips for the babysitters (or potential babysitters):

• When they say, “Help yourself to anything in the fridge.” They don’t mean eat everything you see.

• If you are required to make and/or serve dinner, clean up after yourself. Same goes for the other rooms of the house; if you make a mess clean it up.

• Make sure you follow the house rules. A little leeway here and there is okay, but make sure you know what the biggies are and don’t be flexible with those.

• If you are going to have someone over, be honest. Have them come over with you, so you can introduce them to the parents before they leave. Also, you might want to consider it an opportunity to offer (well ahead of time, of course) to watch more than one family’s kids with the extra help. Be sure and split the fee with your friend as they should be there to help you with your job.

*Note: As I think of more tips, I’ll edit this post.

I was out with my seven-year-old son yesterday for an evening of fun.  He had really helped out around the house, doing lots of chores (such as feeding the dog, emptying the dishwasher, folding and putting away laundry… that kind of thing) so I picked him up after school and we went out to a movie and had dinner – just the two of us.

As we were walking along to the car after eating, he says, “Mom?  I think that home cooking is better than eating out.”

“Oh?” says I, “Why’s that?”

“Well, it’s better for you, at least the way that you cook, but it tastes better too.”  He replies.

“I’m glad you feel that way.  It’s one of the reasons that I want you to learn how to cook a few meals for yourself, so that some day when you grow up and move away that you’ll be able to make good, healthy food.”  I told him.

He turns to me and says, “Maybe one of these days I’ll be as good a cook as you, Mom.”

“Wow!  Thanks.”  I said, smiling.  “Maybe sometime soon, after you get some more practice, you can cook dinner for all of us.”

This was a momentous moment for me.  You see, my son had been in the kitchen with me since he was a baby.  I would bring him in, strapped into his bouncy seat, so that I could talk to him and make faces while keeping on eye on him and dinner at the same time.  As he got older, he would still spend time with me in the kitchen, so I gave him jobs to do.  As his skills progressed, so did the level of difficulty in the jobs I gave him.  When he was a toddler, I would measure out the ingredients and let him add them to the bowl – not to mention stirring!  Eventually, he worked up to measuring and chopping (with a butter knife) different ingredients.  A couple of years ago, I got him his own kid’s cookbook for a present.  He was excited and we have been having a ball going through the recipes and making all kinds of goodies.

One thing I have noticed is that his creative nature causes him to want to make his own creations.  I have let him have a little leeway, but am determined that he should learn how to cook using a recipe… at least at first.  If he gets really good at it, then he can experiment.  The couple of times I let him raid the pantry to create a concoction of his own devising, I did so on the condition that he taste the spices he wanted to use.  You should have seen his face when he tasted the ground ginger (with visions of gingersnaps floating in his head, I’m sure) that I sprinkled into his palm.  That was in February when he wanted to make a cake from scratch.  It looked beautiful, but tasted awful because he put in too much baking soda.  It was a shame, but a great lesson.

Not only has this all been a chance to teach him basic cooking skills, but also a chance for us to talk about all kinds of things.  I really like learning about him.  It’s also nice to see that he truly has a passion for cooking – something we share.

I have to say that my favorite room of the house is the kitchen.  It is open, on one side, so I can still talk to people while cooking.  Seeing the look on people's faces when they taste something wonderful is great fun for me. It's nice when something simple can make people so happy-especially in these times.  Another thing I love about cooking is that certain smells and tastes bring some of my best memories to life.  Food is so important, but can be spectacular too.  I'm also one of those annoying people who are crafty and like creating things with their hands.  Of course, in my view, if you can eat it... all the better.  I am the one who usually makes tons of cookies, or other baked goods, for holidays and such.  Sometimes just because.  I usually have things on hand to whip up most kinds of baked goodies.  Don't hate me too much; I make every effort to make food that is healthy - even if it doesn't taste like it.

The best compliment I've ever had was when my father stated that my cooking is as good as my Grandma’s.  This is true, even above all the times that my husband and son have mumbled around mouthfuls of food, because they didn't want to stop chewing long enough to make their compliments clearly understood.  My Dad's mom was excellent, if simple, cook who inspired my passion for creating culinary delights.  She was almost always cooking when I was young and stayed with her and my Grandpa.  I loved standing in her tiny, hall-like kitchen with her while she made dinner and explained each step and reason for it with me.  Each meal was a lesson; not only in cooking, but in life itself.  We went through the whole process, from the chopping to the washing and drying of the dishes, talking all the while.  She learned how to cook when she was pretty young as she was the oldest girl (third child born) in a family of fifteen.  Yes, that was not a misprint; she had thirteen brothers and sisters.  They all grew up on a ranch - which meant that the boys worked in the field and the girls ran the household.  She always cooked for an army, even after she married my Grandpa and had a family of her own.  They had fun too.  She regaled me with stories of riding to the coast in a horse and buggy - taking all day to travel from the hills of Orange County to the beach.  A trip that would take about a half-hour in this day, and age.  Being in the kitchen gives me a connection to my Grandma, and my history, that anchors me no matter where I live.

Some of my most memorable moments were when I cooked a full Thanksgiving meal for six in a hotel suite kitchenette, and when I made a pie out of the dregs of the apples and pears I had picked from my Uncle’s orchard.  Both were incredible.  The best parts about the Thanksgiving feast?  That everyone loved it, including the girl who claimed that she didn’t like green beans – then proceeded to eat almost the entire green bean casserole, and that everyone was so appreciative that they did the clean up.  The pie ended up becoming a family favorite.  I had already made the pie crust, peeled and sliced three apples, when I realized that I was out of apples.  I grabbed the few remaining pears that we had picked (just in time, too!) and added a white peach that was almost ready to be thrown away for grins.  I added the flour, sugar, lemon juice and spices that I would normally put in an apple pie, and baked it.  It was fantastic!  I have improved on it since, mostly in the crust making, and have even been encouraged to enter it in the State Fair.  Man!!  Now I can’t wait until the end of summer.